Untended grief can feel like water behind a dam.
Grief requires special care and a different approach than other emotional health concerns.
Gaining equilibrium after someone close to you dies can feel like trying to gain balance when the ground is continually moving beneath you. Keeping pace through this exceptionally painful time may feel impossible. Our communities and the people around us can provide support, but sometimes expressing the depth of thoughts and raw emotion requires a trusted few or a more confidential space.
We are honored to provide a space where we can together allow these difficult emotions to move through you, as you find a way to be with these experiences of grief, loss or trauma. Energy for life at times can feel forced, but when we allow all parts of ourselves to be heard, there can be more energy for the rest of life.
Beyond the already unpredictable nature of grief, the emotional reactions to traumatic grief can cause confusion, and even shame. Grief counseling is best with a lot of compassion, increased self-compassion skills and a space for your grief to be honored.
Dr. Joanne Caccatiore, Traumatic Grief Expert
“When we love deeply, we mourn deeply; extraordinary grief is an expression of extraordinary love. Grief and love mirror each other; one is not possible without the other. Grief is not a medical disorder to be cured.”
Gentle care
Your grief, like all emotions, was meant to flow, perhaps something like a winding river — at times rushing over the rocks and other times meandering. Instead, we often brace ourselves against our grief or try to ignore it or control it – creating a dam where the grief can come out in bursts. Therapy is a place you can learn to approach your already-present grief with gentleness and compassion – with someone by your side. Approaching this dammed up river of grief can be terrifying. We provide companionship along the way of your grief journey. And for couples we provide support when navigating your relationship gets more complicated.
Traumatic Grief
Traumatic grief deserves care. You might be wondering why your emotions are so overwhelming when the relationship was complicated or when the people around you minimize or invalidate the grief.
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Sudden or Unexpected Death: The sudden and unexpected death of a loved one, such as from a heart attack, accident, or sudden illness, can trigger traumatic grief due to the shock and lack of preparation.
Accidents: Deaths resulting from accidents, including car crashes, falls, drowning incidents, or workplace accidents, can lead to traumatic grief, especially if the circumstances were particularly violent or gruesome.
Violent Crimes: Losing a loved one to a violent crime, such as homicide, assault, or terrorism, often results in traumatic grief due to the senseless and traumatic nature of the death.
Natural Disasters: Deaths occurring in natural disasters, such as earthquakes, hurricanes, wildfires, or floods, can evoke traumatic grief, especially if the individual was unable to escape or if the circumstances of death were particularly harrowing.
Medical Trauma: Traumatic grief can stem from medical trauma, such as witnessing a loved one suffer from a severe illness, undergoing painful treatments, or dying in the hospital after a prolonged and difficult illness. We saw this during Covid in that people lost loved ones, but were not able to visit them before they died or have a funeral ritual.Suicide: Losing a loved one to suicide can result in traumatic grief due to the complex emotions surrounding feelings of guilt, shame, anger, and confusion, as well as the sudden and unexpected nature of the death.
Military Combat: Families of military personnel killed in combat may experience traumatic grief, especially if the death occurred in a violent or traumatic context during active duty.
Childhood Trauma: Losing a parent or caregiver during childhood, particularly if the death was sudden, violent, or involved neglect or abuse, can lead to traumatic grief with long-lasting psychological effects.
Witnessing Traumatic Events: Witnessing the death of a loved one or being present during a traumatic event, such as a mass shooting, terrorist attack, or natural disaster, can result in traumatic grief for survivors.
Complicated Relationships: Traumatic grief can also arise in cases where the relationship with the deceased was complicated, abusive, or fraught with unresolved issues, leading to conflicting emotions and unresolved grief. -
Intense Emotional Distress: Traumatic grief involves profound emotional suffering, often characterized by feelings of overwhelming sadness, anger, guilt, and despair.
Shock and Disbelief: Individuals experiencing traumatic grief may initially struggle to accept the reality of the loss, feeling a sense of shock or numbness.
Intrusive Thoughts and Memories: Traumatic grief can be marked by intrusive thoughts and memories related to the circumstances of the death, which may lead to flashbacks or nightmares.
Avoidance of Reminders: People may actively avoid reminders of the deceased or the traumatic event, such as places, objects, or conversations associated with the loss.
Social Withdrawal: Traumatic grief often leads to social withdrawal and isolation as individuals struggle to cope with their emotions and may find it difficult to engage with others.
Physical Symptoms: Physical symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, headaches, and changes in appetite are common in traumatic grief, reflecting the toll it takes on both mind and body.
Difficulty Functioning: Traumatic grief can impair a person's ability to carry out daily tasks and responsibilities, impacting their work, relationships, and overall functioning.
Feelings of Guilt or Self-Blame: Survivors may experience intense feelings of guilt or self-blame, questioning whether they could have prevented the death or done more to help their loved one.
Anger and Irritability: Feelings of anger and irritability are common in traumatic grief, directed towards oneself, others, or even the deceased for leaving them behind.
Existential Questions: Individuals may grapple with existential questions about the meaning of life, death, and the fairness of the universe in the wake of a traumatic loss.
Risk of PTSD: Traumatic grief increases the risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), especially if the death occurred in a violent or unexpected manner.
Complicated Grief Reactions: Some individuals may develop complicated grief reactions, characterized by persistent and debilitating symptoms that interfere with the grieving process.
Need for Professional Support: Given the complexity and severity of traumatic grief, seeking support from mental health professionals, support groups, or grief counselors is often necessary to navigate through the grieving process and promote healing.
