Couples & Relationships
“Protective strategies can be life-saving in the short run but will recapitulate the original injury, inside and out, in the long run.”
— Toni Herbine-Blank
You deserve to feel safe, connected and secure.
Do you remember what you felt when you first got to know your partner? You might have felt hopeful, inspired, captivated, alive, and adored.
“We’re stuck.”
Now, you find yourself stuck in a conflict pattern you keep returning to. Or the relationship doesn’t seem to be working for one or both of you. Or you might feel more like roommates.
Are we incompatible?
Beyond disagreements, when one or both people in the relationship have experienced past betrayal, painful past relationships, or multiple adverse childhood experiences, the conflict in the relationship can have more complicated layers of pain. Relationships can feel chaotic, and it can feel impossible to be your best self in the relationship and meet your partners’ needs.
Fully alive.
In your couples sessions we will focus on experiential growth in the sessions. Approaching our truths in real-time sets us up for the best in the rest of life, too, becoming more calm, connected, attuned, and empathetic. Our focus will be on meeting your unique goals which might be learning to interrupt unhealthy patterns, recreating a close connection, navigating a new phase of the relationship or working together to care for children.
Whether your relationship is young or you’ve been together for many seasons, even a handful of therapy sessions can open new paths of communication.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery in 10-12 sessions and 90% show significant improvement.
Hi, I’m Danielle. Relationship conflict can bring shame — whether shame that this is happening to us, to our relationship, or even of the person we become in conflict. My commitment is to create a space where each partners’ needs and experience is honored.
My clients often say that they have tried couples therapy in the past, but with EFT is the first time that couples therapy has been effective. Beyond skills and facts, Emotionally-Focused Therapy provides space to practice communicating in the session, to improve your internal sense of being valuable, even if you cannot provide this to each other at the start.
“Yes. Relationships take work. We have to work hard not to behave like a child when we're triggered. We have to work hard to heal our pasts. We have to work hard to be accountable when we want to blame. This is why if you want a relationship, you better be ready to open up, be brave, and break your patterns. Because even with the right person you'll have to face yourself.”
Jillian Turecki
“Being the ‘best you can be’ is really only possible when you are deeply connected to another. Splendid isolation is for planets, not people.”
Dr. Sue Johnson